Dear Friend,

I spent this past Sunday with a new friend of mine enjoying an incredibly beautiful and sunny day in San Diego. It has been foggy here for the last two months, so the sunshine is a welcome change! I have been wondering if I brought the Northwest with me when I moved here from Seattle a couple of months ago... That being said, I have not yet mastered the appropriate sunscreen-to-skin ratio and returned home with a bit more of a pink hue than I had bargained for...

As I am getting to know people and making friends in my new location, I have become very aware of what I will call the "art of listening." Simply bringing your full presence and your full awareness to someone else can generate feelings of love, understanding, and empathy. It is a simple practice that yields tremendous benefits for everyone involved. This article is focused on the fact that love happens first, and everything else follows. And the art of listening, to yourself and to other people, can help you experience the love that is your birthright. Please check out the new specials and book recommendations - my friends are offering some great specials that I want to tell you about.

Oh, and two more things: I am putting the finishing touches on a great new audio course that I have been developing, I will tell you all about it in the next e-zine.

For those of you interested in bite-size communication - follow my updates on Twitter: http://twitter.com/SarahMaria

With no further ado...

Peace, Love, and Beauty,

Sarah Maria

Love Happens First, Greatness Follows

It is becoming more and more well known that happiness is not something we achieve at some later date. Numerous studies have been done showing that people think they will be happy when they have the perfect relationship, make a certain amount of money, achieve a certain level of success, or whatever it is they desire. It has been proven, however, that these externals have very little to do, in fact, with ongoing happiness. If you win the lottery, for example, you might have a short-term surge in happiness, but within a year you are back at the same level of happiness you had before you won the lottery.

Most of us are born with a happiness set-point and external achievements won't change it. However, there are many internal practices, such as gratitude, that can shift this set-point. As your happiness set-point shifts, your external world will begin to improve to reflect your new state of being.

Now here is the interesting thing:

Many of us play the same cognitive mind-game when it comes to love. We think that when we achieve something, then we will be loveable. That when we accomplish certain things, then we will receive the love we desire. Here is what the internal dialogue might look like:

"When I make more money, then I will be attractive (i.e. loveable)."
"When I get a better job, then I will be loveable."
"When I lose weight, then I will be attractive."
"When I look younger, then I will be deserving of affection."

Here is the reality:

Love happens first. It is not contingent on doing anything, having anything, or being anything in particular. Love is not something that you deserve; it is not based on anything external. Love is an attribute of your very being; it is an attribute, in fact, of the cosmos.

The more loved a person feels, the more likely he or she is to live a beautiful life. Love happens first, success comes second. Love happens first, achievement comes second. Love happens first, meaningful relationships come second. The most important thing is to feel loved, truly loved. Then you will feel inspired to live, inspired to love, inspired to give, inspired to be the very best you, not because you should, not because you have to, simply because you feel loved and want to make your life a living expression of this love.

Picture a small baby. You don't love a baby because of its accomplishments. I mean, really, they are usually chubby, hairless, crying little entities that are completely helpless. They can't do anything at all! Yet they are infinitely loveable simply because they are, simply because they exist. The more loved, nurtured, and adored a child feels, the greater her chance of accomplishing her heart's desire. Love happens first.

So here is the question: How do you create this feeling of being loved, for yourself and for others? Life is replete with examples of not feeling loved. Maybe you suffered childhood abuse, maybe your husband left you, maybe your wife cheated on you. Maybe your best friend abandoned you.

But NOW is the time to feel the love that you deserve, and NOW is the time to share this love with others. Now is the time to discover your greatness and allow others to discover theirs.

Here is a simple technique that will yield profound results:

Practice conscious listening

Here is how it works:

When you are having a conversation with someone else, be it parent, child, partner, friend, bring your full attention to the person and the conversation. You will probably notice that your mind is constantly distracted. While you are listening to him or her, you might find yourself thinking about how you are feeling, what you need to do, what you ate for lunch, etc. This is fine - simply bring your awareness back to the other person. Set the intention to fully listen to him or her. Focus on simply being in the moment. Look into the other person's eyes and make a commitment to simply be present and listen to what they are saying. As your mind wanders, bring it back, again and again. In this age of multi-tasking and frenetic-doing, simply listening is a beautiful gift of love that you can give.

Sometimes we need to listen not to other people but to ourselves. Many of us have a habit of ignoring our needs - whether they are physical, emotional, or spiritual. It takes practice to learn to listen to ourselves.

Here is a technique you can use to give yourself the gift of listening and creating a feeling of being loved:

Find a place to sit quietly. Close your eyes and visualize someone that you respect, admire, or love. This can be a spiritual figure, a family member, or anyone else. It is often helpful to visualize a wise, loving, compassionate version of yourself to play this listening role. Visualize this person listening attentively to everything you have to say. Check in with yourself - maybe it is your body that needs to be listened to, maybe it is your heart, maybe it is the part of you that is stressed out, perhaps that part that is lonely.

Allow this being whom you have visualized to be a fully attentive, compassionate listener, giving you the gift of full attention and awareness. The beautiful thing about this is that you can go here any time, anywhere. Anytime you are wanting to feel loved, nurtured, and supported, visualize a loving being offering this unconditional love and acceptance. Numerous studies have been done showing the profound benefits of visualization on our psycho-physiology - this is definitely worth imagining! 

Living a Charmed Life
by Victoria Moran

There is a great new book I want to tell you about. It is called Living a Charmed Life, by Victoria Moran. Would you like to feel good in your life? This book will show you how to discover the beautiful, the magical, and the wondrous in your everyday life. You will learn how to see the mark of the mysterious in the mundane - the extraordinary in the ordinary. If you order today, you'll receive over 100 valuable bonus gifts from other noteworthy authors and experts.

Check out this link for details:

http://www.victoriamoran.com/charmed/

Step Up and Lead Now

A friend of mine, Max Simon, is offering an incredible complimentary teleseminar focused on helping you turn your passion into profit. If you are interested in learning about how to turn your purpose into a profitable business enterprise, check out this call:

Click here for Thursday's FREE Teleseminar: Step Up and Lead Now

Max is the son of Dr. David Simon (whose book I told you about last week), renowned physician and co-founder of the Chopra Center for Well-being. Max spent four years teaching yoga and meditation at the Chopra Center and developing their products division. He then started his own company, and is passionate about helping people create profitable businesses from their passions. He has done it and can show you how to do it. This is definitely worth checking out. The call is this Thursday.

Sarah Maria is a body-image expert and teacher who can help you discover the beauty that you already are so that you can create a body and a life that you truly love. Her first book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, is being published by Adams Media and will be available for purchase in November '09. She combines ancient spiritual wisdom with modern science and shows you, step-by-step, how to pacify your mind, heal your heart, befriend your body, and transform your life.

She has studied with the leading experts in health, spirituality, personal development, and success, including Deepak Chopra, physician Dr. David Simon (co-founder of the Chopra Center for Well-being in Carlsbad, CA), Dr. Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, renowned Ayurvedic physician Vasant Lad, and many others. She is a lover of eastern philosophy and spiritual wisdom and passionately shares these teachings that have so transformed her own life.

Before founding Break Free Beauty, Sarah Maria received her law degree from Stanford University and her Master's in International Affairs from Columbia University in NYC. She has lived and traveled throughout Latin America, and has also visited many countries around the world. Her greatest passion is helping people discover the beauty and the greatness that resides inside so they can live from this place of grandeur, transforming themselves and the world.